I do apologize for this being so late. I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. So this is just me venting:
Last week I lost my best friend to bone cancer. My mother and her mother grew up together so Denise and I were like sisters. Our birthdays were only 2days apart, 27 years of celebrating birthdays together. I’m my mother’s only child but don’t know what it feels like to not have a sibling until now. I understand the whole “she will always be in my heart” saying. But I’ve never felt this empty before. Last night I forgot she was gone and called her cell just to see what she was doing. But no answer on the other end, and that’s when the reality set in. No matter what time of the day it was, if I called her she would answer and I the same. We made plans for our birthdays to go 2 Vegas, lol our parents finally let us go farther than Atlanta. I know things happen for a reason, but it’s taking me a lot longer to understand the fact that she’s gone. But yes I do have goof-ball pictures of us together that I can look at and smile. Right now it just feels like a in my heart every time I try. I took all the pictures down in my place that had her in it. I’m not sure if that’s cold heart or me trying to get over the hurt. It’s like I’m angry at God for her leaving me, but on top of that I know that God gives life. So right now I’m just trying to inhale and exhale without feeling like my lungs are tight.
Sorry for all my tears….
Last week I lost my best friend to bone cancer. My mother and her mother grew up together so Denise and I were like sisters. Our birthdays were only 2days apart, 27 years of celebrating birthdays together. I’m my mother’s only child but don’t know what it feels like to not have a sibling until now. I understand the whole “she will always be in my heart” saying. But I’ve never felt this empty before. Last night I forgot she was gone and called her cell just to see what she was doing. But no answer on the other end, and that’s when the reality set in. No matter what time of the day it was, if I called her she would answer and I the same. We made plans for our birthdays to go 2 Vegas, lol our parents finally let us go farther than Atlanta. I know things happen for a reason, but it’s taking me a lot longer to understand the fact that she’s gone. But yes I do have goof-ball pictures of us together that I can look at and smile. Right now it just feels like a in my heart every time I try. I took all the pictures down in my place that had her in it. I’m not sure if that’s cold heart or me trying to get over the hurt. It’s like I’m angry at God for her leaving me, but on top of that I know that God gives life. So right now I’m just trying to inhale and exhale without feeling like my lungs are tight.
Sorry for all my tears….
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